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First of all, my racial origin introduces me to the world as black and my imbecility had rendered in my mind a deep scar for the simple reason that I am black. And in my case, the word black is also a metaphor-there is nothing but void and darkness impinged upon my mental health and hygiene that accounts for in a nutshell why I am “black”. Being a schizophrenic, my painstaking treatment for that had rendered inferiority complexity within me which had further drawn me apart from my family and friends-I have become an introvert. My wheel of fortune had as if been given a wrong spin- the shadows of gloominess, sorrow and agony have been looming large for quite sometime now. Where to stand and by whom to stand by I know not. Doc’s analysis speaks voluminously of the fact that schizophrenics are in no way less than their superior “normal” counterparts, as far as the channels of creativity is considered and I am no exception to that. Yet why I am “black” from the literary point of view? All my potentials have been hidden beneath a rough, ragged, rather mentally wounded exterior- there is no way to express all this. Because of this, at times my anguish abstains me from believing in me , that “I am a big, big girl in a big, big world, not as big, big thing as you think it to be “. I am black, even external influence had wanted this “poor, little thing” to be nothing but remain “black, black, black…”. I recall the paintings of the great maestro, Picasso, that I have attempted to copy, a humble try in itself, in particular “Guernica “. Set in the backdrop of the Spanish war, Guernica speaks of all the wrath, pain and violence and bloodshed that war can bring. In this painting, the agony of the Trojan horse is explicit. As I contemplate, I find my inner anguish very much akin to the Trojan horse in despair. I am dying – at least my mental health is so, I need rest- to escape from this grueling pain and as I escape, I want to shrug off the stigma of being “black” forever… true, we cannot ignore the truth that we are children of a lesser God, but a little more love, understanding, sympathy and care from the external world can prove a great deal to improve the lives of schizophrenics.