Read diary

HI TA..
thanks for ur suggestions..
I wil read that book..
I have changed my doc..He has prescribed different medicines..n askd to wait for a while before starting pycho therapy.And I respect ur decision to not to share E-mails.

NOW coming back to my childhood..
Its not a made up story...neither this was told to me by mom..
these Feelings r MINE..

I have a fairly good memory..have been a bright kid..Thats why I could study medicine...I can remember the events when I was just 3 yrs..unbeleiveble...BUT TRUE.

I remember each and every beating abusing..each event...while writing this its replaying in front of me..thats wot is bothering me...that I am not able to forget it..these past incidences keep haunting me.

My father and his family used to beat my mom in front of us(me n my younger bro).We were given a single room in a 3 story house in which we were supposed to do everything,,...EVERYTHING means everything...stay,cook bathe.My father used to leave us as per his convinience and then get us back..Till 12th standard I took his beating..He is an animal.He even suggested that he will put us(me n my bro) on different trains to get rid of us.

I really felt bad TA...when u said that r these feelings mine or r they fed in me by my mom..
N now I am punching the keyboard n trying to get out the garbage frm inside me.

U cant imagine wot all my mom has suffered..she had burnt her left breast n left arm when a pressure cooker bursted on a sunday afternoon...n my mom went alone to the hospital to see a doc...while my father was at home.he didnt bother about it at all..and this happened when I was 13.

My mom had to have a gynaec operation...for that too she went alone got herself admitted ...signed papers herself..n u know wot it was a major surgery..her life was at stake..n before going to hospital..she bought us new clothes..she made sure we were stocked wid food in case she doesnt see the light of the day after her surgery..N u know wot my dad asked my mom before leavinf for hospital...where r the bank locker keys...n worst is yet to come...He told my mom,..if u go in the state of coma..he will strangle my mom.

TA..
I didnt want to wash dirty linen in public..this is the first time I have vented out..I thought it was necessary for u to understand wot I went thru...Its rightly said one cant experience until n unless u r in these shoes.